I was a great student- mostly straight As, teacher's pet, scholarships...
So you can imagine, my folks were pretty proud.
I can still remember their beaming faces, their eagerly telling relatives & friends
about my fantastic results & the few $500 scholarships.
But note i started with "back in the .... days",
yep, all this changed in secondary 3, i had no idea what happened,
my results deteriorated, level position fell from 1st to 30+...
Needless to say i was so disappointed in myself.
I tried, i tried to be what i used to be, but once you've hit rock bottom,
you just lose the winner mentality.
You subconsciously label yourself as loser instead.
Despite that, I still had that ounce of hope in me, so i worked hard, and it paid off.
I did reasonably well for O's, thanks to eng, lit & humanities.
Sad to say, that "hope" vanished the moment i found out i failed my H2s in J1.
At that point, it wasn't only me who lost hope...
My mom did too... I think that was a first for her.
It got worse when i got advanced to J2, i couldn't keep up. (Was playful)
So yeah, A's was hell for me. I didn't do well. Not enough to go into a local U.
You may ask, what's the point of me telling you all this?
[#1]
It's that you should never be complacent, or think that things will stay the same.
I'm sure most of you already knew that, this is just a reminder.
I was once a top student in school, but now i'm struggling with my life choices.
I also realized something else throughout all this.
It's sad when you lose all faith & hope in yourself.
But it's even sadder when your loved ones stop believing in you.
Up till now, my parents still can't let it go.
I'm being really personal here, but i just have to let it out.
My heart felt like it was being ripped apart every single time my mom said i would
most definitely screw it up, or that i couldn't do it even if i tried.
That's life for you. You fail just once, and you're deemed unfit/worthless.
I can't blame her, or anyone who feels that way. It's understandable.
(But sometimes i wish, they could just give second chances.
What if, all they had to do was believe?
What if with all that faith, it would ignite a spark in us,
and we would be more driven to achieve better results?
Do you know what i mean?)
However, we can't always depend on people to believe in us.
When that happens, we have to take the matter into our own hands.
[#2]
Personally I think we've all gone through failures,
and we all will at some point.
But the important thing to remember (for yourself) is...
Even when the whole world doesn't believe in you,
you have to remember you gave em a reason for it,
so you're gonna have to prove em wrong again.
Do it for yourself, believe in your abilities.
Work hard and eventually, all your efforts will be paid off.
"You can't have any successes unless you can accept failure." -George Cukor
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
:)
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